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Sorority to Host Inaugural 'Jap-Off'

greek life


University of Maryland


- satire

Sorority to Host Inaugural 'Jap-Off'

Elana Rosinsky


Anticipation over Omicron Upsilon's (OY) inaugural Jap-Off is running tensions high through the Jewish sorority community. The Japs are lacing up their Adidas, tightening their chokers, and securing their trust funds; the show is about to go down.

The Jap-Off is designed like a triathlon, consisting of three main events that occur in Ritchie Coliseum. The first event is a SoulCycle ride. All participants must come in Lulu Lemon clothing, scrunchies, and some sort of tank with a cheesy saying, (i.e. "But first, coffee"). Participants are not allowed to sweat - only glisten.

The second event is a clothing war. Participants are given items of clothing and have 45 minutes to creatively cut random holes, sew patches in places where things don't need to be patched, and dip-dye, bleach, or ombre their clothing at the bleaching booth. Judges will be checking to make sure the clothing is not pre-ripped.

The third and final event consists of an Instagram brawl. Contestants will have to snap a quick photo in just the right lighting, quickly pick the perfect filter, and top it off with a "bomb ass" caption. Extra points will be awarded if comments include any of the following:
-"Can I be you?"
-"Literally perfect"
-"Love this and you"

The judges for the Jap-off will include the Rabbi from Chabad, a member of ZBT, the member of ZBT's bubby, the mayor of Syosset, NY, and Melo Trimble. All proceeds from this event will be donated to the Homeless Orthodox Pets foundation.

In order for your sorority to be eligible to participate in the Jap-off, they must meet at least one or more of the following criteria:

-Each member of your sorority must own at least one pair of Adiddas, a choker, and joggers
-At least one member of your sorority must run a foodporn account on Instagram
-At least two members of your sorority must have attended Beth Tfiloh
-All sorority members must have had a bat mitzvah that costs more than $100,000

The Jap-off will be held on December 25th at 4p.m. in Ritchie Coliseum.