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Miraculous Flash Mob of students leave stadium after first quarter



University of Maryland


- satire

Miraculous Flash Mob of students leave stadium after first quarter

Hugh McFarland


COLLEGE PARK: Students at the University of Maryland flawlessly executed a well-choreographed flash mob routine this past Saturday during the football game against Northwestern. As soon as the first quarter ended, nearly the entire student section rose to their feet and exited the stadium in perfect unison. Continuing as a solid, cohesive group for nearly a half-mile, the mob finally broke up near Regents Drive Parking Garage. Witnesses say that the act of leaving the stadium en masse was "incredible," "an awe-inspiring display of the collaborative spirit of Maryland students," and "completely predictable, it happens every week." When the dust and discarded tailgate wristbands had settled, only a few passed-out-drunk freshmen and a group of sports journalism majors remained in the student section.

Maryland Stadium on a busy day

According to the University Administration, this flash mob was a completely independent effort undertaken by Maryland students of their own accord. University spokesman for Athletic Event Spontaneous Flash Mobs, Errol Wippel, said, "This event shows how invested our fans are in the team, the game, and the school as a whole."

However, some are characterizing the event in a less positive light. Sophomore and avid football fan Barry Sarmat said, "This is disgraceful, for fans to walk out on our team like that."

Spokesman Wippel responded to similar criticisms, saying, "This was not a walkout. This was a coordinated effort to intimidate the visiting team and convey a sense of community through a display of discipline. Remember, there is more than one way to show school pride."

The Rival was unable to find the brave, mysterious Terrapins who first had this #FearlessIdea. This event may have inspired copycats, however; at press time, many students expressed their intention to one-up this week's flash mob by not even showing up to the game in the first place.
Go Terps!