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Philosophy student is.



University of Maryland


- experimental

Philosophy student is.

Colin Wick


Ronald Thomson, a sophomore, was sitting in his second existential philosophy class of the semester, when his mind reportedly started to consider the material. In a striking moment, he realized he is.

Eyewitness accounts say that no apparent change took place at the scene. Those close to Ronald corroborated that he is, but he also can be. Other eyewitnesses claim that Ronald started speaking in longer sentences and using terms like “therefore” more often.

“I started as a Food Science major and took a philosophy class my second semester. It really got me thinking that I might be. Have I always been? Who am I? What is The Self? Do you exist? Does this pen?” Ronald continued, when asked about his revelation.

In the future, Ronald plans to continue being. He added, “Time is not a thing, thus nothing which is, and yet it remains constant in its passing away without being something temporal like the beings in time.” At press time, Ronald had always been.