Both Xfinity Center staff and Big Ten officials have declined to comment on the story. However Kyle, a veteran sweat-wiper, says he’s not surprised. “They don’t see us as a threat yet,” he explained, “but if we ever go on strike those players could slip and fall. Our absence would risk the safety of the team." When asked if he was happy with the union’s demands Kyle shrugged and said he guessed so, then muttered something under his breath about wanting a Nintendo 3DS.