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Dakota Johnson's Boobs Nominated for Best Actress in Fifty Shades Freed



University of Maryland


- satire

Dakota Johnson's Boobs Nominated for Best Actress in Fifty Shades Freed

Grace Chubb


Congratulations to Dakota Johnson's boobs, Dorothy and Gertrude, who have collectively been nominated for Best Actress in the 2018 Oscars for their stunning performance in Fifty Shades Freed. Though Johnson herself made few appearances in the film, her breasts had record setting amounts of screen time, even for them being billed as one of the stars of the movie.

This is the boobs' first nomination for this category, though they have been previously nominated for Best Supporting Actress at both the Golden Globes and the SAG awards. This nomination marks a huge turning point for the academy, as this is the first ever Best Actress nomination for a non-speaking character in a blockbuster film. This year her boobs will be facing tough competition against Lady Bird's, Saoirse Ronan, and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri's, Frances McDormand. Despite these moving performances though, Johnson's boobs are expected to take the award, as they, collectively, went above and beyond any performance the public has seen in years.

When interviewed earlier this week, the breasts were quoted saying "We are so thankful to finally be getting the recognition we deserve for carrying Dakota's career this far. If we won the award obviously it would be incredible, but we're just happy that our years of hard work on the Fifty Shades trilogy is finally being recognized."

The 90th Oscars will be taking place on March 4th at 8:00pm PST.